"Don't mind her, she's still upset because someone dropped a house on her sister."

--One of my favorite Tim Burton movies, BEETLEJUICE!

Its that time, my favorite time, of year again! The cooler weather finally arrived and the leaves are changing colors. Sadly, I didn't get a costume this year because I wasn't sure that I'd need it. I got invited to a party at Lyon college and a few of my friends want me to go to a haunted house in Little Rock. Not exactly my cup of tea, but I will probably end up doing it anyway because I'm sometimes nice. I've been on the go constantly all week and it feels nice to finally take a little break.
So, everyone have a great Halloween!

Tiny Dancer

"Turning back, she just laughs,
The boulevard is not that bad
Piano man, he makes his stand in the auditorium
Looking on, she sings the songs
The words she knows
The tunes she hums"

Normally, I'm not awake this early. Technically, I'm up extra-late. I haven't really been to sleep yet. My mom called after 5 this morning to tell me our Aunt Brenda had passed early this morning. She has battled cancer for years. She was a very sweet woman. She was always active; she constantly did yard work or made quilts. She was the type of lady who let her grandkid and nieces take her little car out to drive loops around the road she lived on. She took us to Portfest every year. So, although shes pain-free now, I won't be the only one who's missing her. See ya later, Bren.

Heart Full of Wine

"Silver moon feeling high
Through the window beneath the door
Her eyes are so kind
With nothing left to pour
To pour"
--Angus and Julia Stone

Man, today felt like winter. It was chilly this morning but not the bitter cold that will come later on this year; the sky was gray. I, myself, love fall and we haven't had much of one. The days when its a little cold and you need a jacket but the sun is still out.

Since I am almost always behind on the news, it was only today that I found out about the suspension of the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy within the military. I've been watching the subject and I never dreamed that all the rallying would achieve its cause this quick; I'm so excited about it! I watched a conference Lady Gaga was at and was apalled, in a good way, at how fervently she spoke for the LGBT community and about the policy that keeps them from being "out" while serving in the armed forces. I'm really looking forward to the album she announced at the VMA's this year "Born this Way." I got some chillbumps when she sang a few lines.

I've been pretty busy the past couple days with school. I thought I was catching a break and that I wouldn't have to spend all my free time studying but that didn't last long. I now have to learn all the muscles of the body and everything that goes with them. Plus, I'm going ahead and starting to prepare for my next big Anatomy and Physiology test because I would like to make an A on it.

Keep it classy, blog-world :)

You're So Vain

"I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee and..."
-The one and only Carly Simon

I'm not really sure why but when I listen to this song I have flashes from my life at age 45 and it involves me on a chaise lounge with a martini in my hand and collagen in my lips.

First off, I've never had a martini and they don't sound appealing. Second of all I'm scared of needles so I'm not sure how the collagen is gonna work. But....this is my vivid imagination. I can write about my imagination in blogs, whereas I can't on Facebook because if I did the word on the street the next day would be that I'm a plastic-surgery addicted alcoholic. :) Don't ya just love gossip?

This week was stressful; I'll leave it at that. But it was my stress to bear and that pleases me. I had a good weekend to make up for it. On Friday, I didn't do squat. I slept in and was like a hobo for a day and I loved every minute of it. Saturday night was spent with Ashlyn and Alex. We had a good time just "vegging out" and watching scary movies. This week should be easy and I'm looking forward to that.

As far as a journal goes, this is about as close as it gets for me. I'm not really one to keep written accounts of everything. I have started doing something that I find relaxing and clever. It's called "what I've learned today" and I write something I learned (or revisited) that day. Could be a quote or a random sentence. If I keep it up, I think it'll be nice to look over from time to time. Since I have only a few followers, I can post this exclusive list and I might try to keep it up. Might.

10/10: George Orwell's real name was Eric Blair.
11: Sometimes it takes you nearly forever to realize the people you thought mattered the most, don't really matter at all.
13: You go into periods of "microsleep" after being awake for 72+ hours.
15: If you have to do something desperate to get it, you probably don't need it that bad.

Just a few of them.
Hasta luego!

Hemorrhage

"i hold it now
i feel contagious
am i the only place that you've left to go
she cries that life is like some movie black and white"
-Fuel

Its been one of those weekends. I've had a blast hanging with friends but I learned more than I bargained for. Anywho, I'm so close to boycotting facebook. I get to the point where I think I've built up the courage to delete it and then I just can't. Its like the relationship between the battered woman and her abusive husband...I just keep going back for more! I'm trying to free myself of any drama and I realized that I have hardly any myself. I have other people's drama that kinda gets shucked off on me. So I'm cutting that out. Facebook is a major drama hub so I'm trying to use it as little as possible. I think everyone's become so reliant on it as a source of gossip and I hate to say that I've spent hours perusing (aka creeping) profiles. I went on a cleanse today and deleted quite a few people. I'm hoping to get it down where I only have people I actually see/talk to regularly on my friends list. My second A&P exam is Wednesday and true to form, I've already spent many hours studying and there are many more to come. So all my extra time from non-facebooking can leave me w/ my head in a book. Bill Clinton is coming to UACCB tomorrow...wonder if hes bringing Monica?

Remedy

"Throw your dollar bills and leave your thrills all here with me,
Speak but don't pretend, I won't defend you anymore you see."
--Seether (my favorite frontman Shaun Morgan....mmmm:)

I haven't written anything in awhile, although its been eventful around here. Lets see....first off: I had a bit of a stalker. He was really just a creeper but he was just this side of getting a stalker status. He followed my friends around the UACCB campus looking for me and trying to get them to tell him where I was....CREEEPPPPY. I still hide from him. He isn't bothering me these days so I feel pretty good about it.
Some very good news I have involves a certain Anatomy and Physiology test grade.....I made an 80.5B. I would call that an 81 but my professor doesn't see it that way; you can really tell what an ass he is by that alone. Anyway, there were only 3 B's in the entire class and I'm proud to say that one of them belongs to me. I earned that bad boy too! There were 13 F's. The rest were probably D's.
I've spent quite a bit of time at my mom's here lately. She got a dog; its the spawn of satan. It eats my shoes/socks/feet/pant's legs for breakfast.
Its October, which might be my favorite month. Its a top contender. I LOVE Halloween. I went to an ok Halloween party last year and I didn't get a costume when I love dressing up. This year I want a costume and as of right now have nowhere to go. At least this year I won't have to hold Sheila's hair back while she barfs in the bushes at the Taco Bell drive thru. It was a classy halloween, the kind where I was the sober chaueffer(which sounds classier than DD) :)

Firework

"Baby you're a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"
You're gonna leave 'em fallin' down-own-own"

I bought Katy Perry's new "Teenage Dream" CD today, so I picked a song to show my love <3

Ok, so the first week of class is over and it went relatively well. The first day was pretty good which I take to be a good omen. I had 3 classes and I had friends in all but 1, which is unusual...and great. I had dinner with Teighlor after class and we wound up going to see Vampires Suck which was pretty funny. We were on our way to her house when we found out that Secondhand Serenade was playing a free show at Lyon College so naturally we had to go and check it out. Sure enough, they were there. We watched a couple songs and headed out to Teighlor's because we both had to get up early in the morning. My classes on Tuesday were good; I had friends in both of them. My old clinical buddy Heath is gonna be my lab partner, which saves me the trouble of having to get to know someone new lol :)
The only thing I have to complain about is how much effing books cost!!! I've spent over $700 on libros. Its ridic.
I'm spending the weekend at my madres, and so far we've had a good time. I haven't seen her in awhile. Monday starts a new week!

Dumbassness

I am finishing up Chelsea Handler's newest written miracle, "Chelsea Chelsea, Bang Bang" so I'm breaking tradition and titling(hate the way this word looks) this after something I liked inside the book.

I did a little renovation to this, and I already like it better.
I moved all my furniture from Batesville to BK today. It is now sitting around aimlessly in my house and when I make my way to the bathroom at 1am in the dark, I feel like Helen Keller, because I have my hands out and I never know what I'm going to run into. If only I had a mouth full of Orajel, I'd be drooling my way into business.
School starts next week! And on that front, I'm really excited because I got the Arkansas Challenge aka Lotto Scholarship. They said that there were quite a few people who applied for the scholarship that aren't getting it because there wasn't enough money to go around. I think thats bs and that somebody is just taking some cruises with that money or something because every time I'm in the gas station, a skank is in there buying a scratch-off. I shouldn't complain because instead of buying something productive, hes funding my education. Thanks :)
I got $2500 which will cover my tuition at the grand establishment of UACCB. I love that place. I've heard the financial aide lady is a queen wench and I'm bringing my mini Louisville slugger just in case I have some problems. J/K.
My Wii and DVD player and phone died this week. Which blows. RIP fun.
After I bought all my books I found out I could've rented them. This is the kinda of week I'm having. My bathroom might be finished soon and I could enjoy peeing without getting barked at. (by Randy and the dogs)! In the words of Randy, "Have a Rice day!"

New Perspective

"Stop there and let me correct it, I wanna live a life from a new perspective.
You've come along because I love your face,
And I'll admire your expensive taste,
And who cares divine intervention, I wanna be praised from a new perspective
But leaving now would be a good idea
So catch me up on getting out of here."
--Panic! at the Disco

Since my last post, I've finished classes for the summer and gotten farther in the moving home process. I'm glad to report that I made an A in all the summer classes I took! I've pretty much made up for the bad 1st semester I had last fall. School starts again August 23rd so I get a tiny break. In that time I'm hoping to get finished with moving home, and have my bathroom (which is in the process of being redone) all done. I think I'm going to go pick out paint for it and my bedroom today :)
As usual....Jordan's love life is a mess. I tend to get myself in situations that seem great at the time but wind up being a disaster. I think I need a new conscience. My Jiminy Cricket is tired of my crap! lol j/k.
Adios.

Not Tonight

"What will bring me home?
What will make me stay, stay?
What will bring me home?
What will make me stay, stay?
Well I don't know, I don't know oh."
--Tegan and Sara


So, like my musical selection conveys....I have a big decision to make. My cousin Bree is wanting me to rent an apartment with her in Batesville, so we can live together while we go to the same school. If she had asked about oh, 3 months ago, it would be happening. Now, I'm not too sure. I decided last week that I wanted to move home; I started making preparations for that. Bree isn't even entirely decided that she wants to go to UACCB, so there's still something to think about for her. For me, there are quite a few factors playing into this decision. So...I'm gonna make a pros and cons list. And I'm gonna do it here :) Pros of moving home, cons of that as well

Pros

• SAVE MONEY!!!
• Spend more time with Dad
• Spend more time with friends that live here (mostly everyone, now)
• Have all my bills paid for; all my money would go to my pocket.
• Bree's a drama queen (I'd be dodging a bullet)
• It'll be easier for me when I go to transfer schools
• Piss Phyllis off.
• Actually have groceries, Satellite and DVR
  
• My DOG

Cons

• The drive back and forth(30 mins)
• Give up my freedom
• Have to do Randy's nasty laundry
  

So, thats it for now. I'll probably come up with other things but it basically rolls down to...I want to save some money and have more fun.

Celebrity Skin

"Oh, make me over
I'm all I wanna be.
A walking study
In demonology"
--Hole
( Yes, I was feeling Courtney Love today)

This is a picture of the railroad tracks that go through our farm, its beautiful out there.
<-----

I made it back from Branson at noon today. It was an....interesting trip. I did a lot of shopping and got some great bargains; I even got Ricky Dale some new clothes which he really needed. I prefer Branson trips without the whole family. We all used to go but we haven't been together since before Dale died and its just not the same now, almost awkward. We're older now and don't care much about amusement parks and bumper boats. Our grandparents only went to see us have fun which is really sweet.

Class starts again Monday; I'll be done for the week on Wednesday :)
and not that anything is much different, but I am now officially single and for all the Joe-haters that means we are D-O-N-E. And no, I'm not that worried about it lol.
My goal for the next few weeks is to get my bedroom at dad's house back to its function as an actual place to sleep. All my old furniture (except for the bed) is in here, but its covered in crap i no longer need. I'm gonna clean out everything that isn't useful and get this place back to its former glory. Sleeping in a recliner sucks.

Thinking About Tomorrow

"Tired but I ain't sleeping,
Thinking about some sad affair,
And why should I be leaving,
Cause some of these thoughts only seem to take me outta here.
These habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make.
These habits are so hard to break and they're so easy to make."
---Beth Orton

So, this morning I woke up to a fuzzy creature on my face. I figured it was Callie so I told her to get off and that didn't happen so I opened my eyes and Dad was standing over me and the fuzzy creature wasn't Callie. Dad went on one of his excursions to who knows where and came back with a little puppy. He's an Imperial Shi-tzu teacup and he's pretty adorable. He has blue-gray eyes and a cute little brown nose. He's tiny and very playful. We decided to keep the Grey's Anatomy name tradition going on because we already have a Tucker (Bailey's son), Callie (Dr. Torres) and now we have an Owen (Dr. McRambo aka Hunt). Usually I'm the one who brings home animals because I have that problem but it wasn't me this time. Dad's getting attached to the little booger. Its day 1 and I'm not sure how its all gonna go when I have to go back to class and Dad's at work all day. Little Owen has Callie and Tucker for guidance, even though they don't approve of him right now. Of course I plan on sneaking Owen into my apartment every once in awhile; he's so tiny i could probably fit him in a taco bell bag :)
Above are pictures of the little dude ;)

Heavy In Your Arms

"I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down,
My arms around his neck,
My fingers laced to crown.
I was a heavy heart to carry,
My feet dragged across the ground
And he took me to the river where he slowly let me drown...
...
I'm so heavy, heavy. Heavy in your arms."

--Florence + the Machine

The song is a little glum but today is, in fact, a good day. My friend Kelby stayed with me last night and we had a pretty good night. It was hard to wake up this morning but once I did I got my butt to class and took my final. I have a good grade in the class, but there's always room for improvement. The professor let us take a notecard full of whatever info we could fit on it into the test with us and that helped majorly. He also went over pretty much every problem on the test the day before so I knew what to expect. I'm confident that I made an A on it, and I can usually never say that about a math test!

I made a decision. Today was supposed to be my last day in Batesvegas for awhile; I was going to go back to the big BK to spend the remainder of the summer. BUTTTTT, that changed. A class opened up in the Summer III term and I really need to take it so I signed up for it. Its Biology for Majors and it'll start at 8am (yeah I know thats not good for me) and go til about 2pm. 3 days a week, which isn't too bad. I was nervous that this would be a hard class to take in such a short amount of time but a friend who took the same class in the Summer II term said it was super easy and I would have an awesome grade. He better be right! So I'm not totally dreading it, it will put me ahead of schedule to get it out of the way.

I have about 6 days off from class and I'm excited about that. I'll probably go hang out with mi madre for a little while and spend the rest chilling in BK.
Til then :)

Set Down Your Glass

"Just close your eyes and count to five,
Let's craft the only thing we know into surprise.
Set down your glass, I painted this to look like you and me forever as we're now.

And I'm shaking then I'm still
When your eyes meet mine I lose simple skills
Like to tell you all I want is now..."

--Something from Snow Patrol's new CD "A Hundred Million Suns"
I'm quite fond of it. :)

I had a pretty good weekend. I spent most of it at Sarah Lou's playing Mario on the Wii. We are kinda like kids when we get into it. Poor Cheryl had to hear screaming and cursing all day!
I went to Heber with my madre for a small portion of Saturday; it wasn't my idea of fun. Hebers fine when you have friends to enjoy it but not so much with your parents....

This week will be full with class. I don't have too much left and we're getting down to the nitty gritty. Tuesday is Joe's birthday and I'm hoping to see him for it but we'll see about that.

I don't have too much to comment on this minute except the fact that Anna Paquin is Bi. Thats so crazy! Who would've guessed that? I wonder what Miss Chelsea Handler will have to say about that....

Never Leave Your Heart Alone

"And its open for destruction,
You found all the words you need.
Well, I found nothing,
I just grumbled because I don't know what I feel.
The moral to the story goes: Never leave your heart, never leave your heart alone.
Run for shelter, an umbrella, fights the rain but not the wind,
And I'd be silly to stop reaching cause I don't know which point to make."
--Butterfly Boucher

It is a pretty nice Thursday night. I made it home from Batesvegas before 8pm and enjoyed watching some Smokey and the Bandit (his choice of movie) with The Randy before he conked out at 10. This week was pretty hectic. Class moved really fast this week and we took 2 quizzes during 1 class, which I wasn't too thrilled about. I had a test today and I don't think I did as well on this one as I did on the last. That's ok. Comprehensive final will come in handy for that.

So, the CNA program I was planning on being a part of this summer has been cancelled. The instructor has to have knee surgery and it will keep her down for just long enough to mess up the schedule. It was supposed to start July 19th and end 3 weeks later so I have a gap in my summer schedule. Plus, I was planning to get my CNA license and with it a job. That won't be happening as far as I know. I'm still on the lookout though. A new avenue has opened up and I might just go for it. A majors biology class opened for the summer III term. I need to re-take this class because my first go-around didn't wind up well. So, if I could get this class out of the way, it would be awesome. BUT....that would me as not getting very much of a break between the last summer session and the start of the fall semester. I'm taking some mean classes in the fall and I don't want to burn myself out. So...I have awhile to figure things out. Suggestions? My dad's is "quit school, move back home with me." I'm not feeling that.

Wonderwall

"Today is gonna be the day that their gonna throw it back to you,
By now you should've somehow realized what you gotta do,
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now."
--Oasis


So, it has been 2 and a half forevers since I last posted something, and I was told I needed to get a move on (*cough* Cheryl). I am currently in Batesville and I am in a great mood. Randy-pants and I took the quickest trip to Little Rock that I've ever taken to retrieve a charger for my Macbook. My laptop has been out of service for over a month due to a lightning storm that fried my charger. The closest place to buy one was Best Buy all the way in Little Rock. Shout out to Best Buy--thank you ever so much!

Since it has been like 3 months since my last post, we will do a little catching up. First off, my grades for the spring semester were pretty amazing. I was 3 tenths of a point from making the Dean's list. Just enough to piss ya off, I know. My grades during my first semester of college weren't too hot, and thats an understatement. So I'm proud of myself for pulling it together and getting my head out of my ass :)
Sheila moved back to BK. Everybody knows we had our fair share of problems, so this isn't too shocking. I miss her from time to time but it was probably for the best. I now have an apartment alone and I'm getting used to it. Its pretty nice and I think I will be happy here. Since Sheila left, our relationship has been a little strained. I'm not entirely sure what the deal with that is but hopefully problems will resolve themselves.
I am currently taking a summer class: College Algebra. This is a re-do class for me. Its an everyday thing but that doesn't bother me because it gives me a reason to wake up and doesn't take up my entire day. So far my grades are good. Test scores will come out tomorrow so cross your fingers for an A. Math isn't my best subject.
My birthday happened a couple weeks ago. Happy 19! Nothing's different. To celebrate I went to the Rev Room with Jordan Sully and Kelby Jones. I had a pretty good time.
My romantic life is in a bit of a tizzy at the moment. I went awhile without talking to Joe. We would message via Facebook every once in awhile but thats as far as it went. That all changed last night.
Story (briefly) goes:
Sheila called me while I was en route to Sarah Lou's casa and I shady buttoned it. I know, I'm going to hell. She text me and said " call me asap." So, suspecting it was something serious, I called her, mind you, Ricky Dale (aka Dad) was in the car with me so my reactions to her info couldn't really come out. She had apparently ran into Joe at Heber and they had a little conversation. He asked about me and blah blah blah. I was a little shocked. I make it to Sarah's house and what do you know he's blowing my phone up. I take the call, he says he wants to come to the big BK to see me. Since he's never offered to do anything like this, it was always me going to him, I figured I better see if he'd actually do it. Well...he did. We met up and talked for awhile, caught up with everything. He was really tan...he looked pretty good. Damnit. It went well. I'm not sure what comes next, but I know we are going to try to stay in contact. So...that can of worms is open again.

As of right now I'm about to head to Trent's to watch Life as a House, my favorite. Hayden's a hottie and the story is amazing. Til next time :)

touching base

I don't have a great title. I do have a roommate who is experimenting with chat roulette.....

I've decided that its a dirty kinda thing that I probably won't take part in voluntarily. Sheila's already seen more penises in 5 minutes than most people see in their lifetime. You never know what you're gonna get and you don't have any say in it. STUPID.

So, since my last blog.....

1. Sarah Lou had her baby boy Jackson Ryder.

2. Spring break happened.

3. I was sick for most of my spring break.

4. I visited my mother.

5. I've been out 3 times with a Mr. Howard Huntsman,

so far so good. Keeping an open mind.

6. Thats all.

I haven't really been in the blogging mood here lately and I haven't had time for much extra.

I only have a few weeks left of my second semester in college. One year down...a whole bunch to go!

Til then

Turn and Turn Again

Tonight, or I should say, this morning belongs to All Thieves.

Its 3:30am. Why I cannot sleep is beyond me! I'm unbelievably tired but that doesn't seem to have much to do with it. Today was an OK day. I skipped my English class on account of the sleep I needed, sounds like I'm a lazy bum! I went to all my other classes and I even stayed to finish my 3 hour chemistry lecture, which is something I don't do often. I even learned...just a little. I'm proud to announce that my grades are great and stable. :)

I made the mistake of looking at someone's facebook profile again today. I'm sure I don't even have to give away his name. Still made me a little sad :(

I don't have too much to say tonight. The thought above sets my mood. The song below gives it a little boost.

"Worn from walking this far,

So worn from talking this much,

And what we've found, and what we've seen as the road casts down,

And the lights come up to meet us,

Silent for the evening, we enter this town like newborn creatures,

Those I know I see anew, and the space between us is reduced,

For I am human, and you are human too.

So turn and turn again,

We are calling in all the ships,

Every traveler please come home and tell us all that you have seen,

Break every lock to every door,

Return every gun to every drawer,

So we can turn, and turn again."

I'd Hate To Be You When People Find Out What This Song Is About

Tonight goes to Mayday Parade :)

Its Monday; everybody hates Mondays. I'm currently trying to rearrange my room because I need a change. The first wave happened last night, and since my bed is in a different position it took me forever to fall asleep. Its amazing how the littlest things can keep me up.

When morning came, it was actually the afternoon. I was awakened by a phone call from a friend who wanted in my house, nice I know. I was really dragging all day, I even felt a little puny. I went and enjoyed some El Aculpoco with my friends, and almost fell asleep doing so. Its like I had narcolepsy or something. If only my teachers would believe that one.

I went to my only class for the day, oral communication. It was as boring as I was prepared for. I came home, and went back to bed. I know, I'm a lazy bum today. I woke up and decided to go grocery shopping. I know its kinda weird to go so late but going during the day makes me angry (i'm a little impatient and nobody should get road rage in the walmart). I then went to my friend Amanda's house so we could do our chemistry homework together. I made it home at like 2am. Its 3:02 and I can't even sleep. Hope everyone else is having better luck than I am!

I'm a little disappointed because something that I had actually been looking forward to for today, didn't happen. Why I'm disappointed? I'm not even sure. :)

"And I'm sorry, that this wasn't easy.

When I asked you 'believe me?'

You never let go

...but I let go."

Ring The Alarm

Who doesn't LOVE Beyonce? She did a great job at describing the mood I'm in tonight, so she definitely deserves to have my post's title.

Yesterday I came to find that my ex-mancandy is now engaged to "the best woman he's ever met." That in itself is a slap in the face, especially since its only been three weeks since we broke up. He even went as far to comment on the Facebook status that announced this with something that was directed to me and my friends. Something along the lines of "if you have a problem with it I would rather not know you, I know it sounds cold but you guys know who you are." Well I definitely know who I am, but I don't think he has a clue who he is. It probably doesn't help that one of my friends who used to love him messaged him calling him everything but a white man :)

I found out today that the woman he's engaged to is a girl I actually met while we were together. She has a child and he doesn't really want children. Way to go! No wonder she looked at me so weirdly when he introduced us. For them to be engaged, I'm sure he had to be cheating on me for some amount of time.

I'm bothered, but I was fine before him, and I'll be even better after him.

I have a problem with looking at his Facebook page just to see more details, the more I learn the madder and more hurt I get. I'm a masochist.

Hope she will foot your bill with more enthusiasm than I did, bum :)

The Planets Bend Between Us

Today---> More Snow Patrol

I'm in Branson with the Randy this weekend. I came home Thursday morning to dads surprise trip up here. We come here 2-3 times a year and we have since I was probably 4 years old.

I haven't been many places and I haven't seen much but I never ask to go somewhere new, this is our thing. We come here, just me and him, to get away, even if its just for a couple days.

The trip started out with a bit of discouragement. The hotel we normally stay in, the Spinning Wheel Inn, was closed down for remodeling so we had to stay at its sister hotel, Twelve Oaks Inn (yes like Gone With The Wind). So that was a break in our tradition.

Today I did my favorite activity Branson has to offer....shopping.

I'm pleased to announce I'll be coming home with 2 new Coach bags that I did not overpay for, among other things. Dad and I were going to try to see Alice in Wonderland in Branson's IMAX theater but its sold out :(.

We will be leaving tomorrow morning so I can make it back to Batesville and not have to rush for class Monday.

As far as whats going on at home....

Alba now has a new home. She was adorable and I'm super sad to have had to let her go but my lifestyle was unfair to her. I'm always in class so I could never be with her to keep her company and train her. She deserves better. I'm glad I saved her from being obliterated but I just couldn't keep her. My roommate has her sister so if anybody is in need of a cute puppy, hit me up.

I've had a great weekend; I greatly appreciate dad for bringing me. Now that I've moved, we don't get to spend that much time with each other so its weekends like these that make me grateful I have a father who still dotes on me and takes care of all my wants and needs even though I'm nearly 19. I've always known I'm very lucky.

"The sea filled in the silence

Before you sank those words

And now, even in the darkness

I can see how happy you are."

Don't Stop

About tonight:

• Selection comes from Fleetwood Mac
• Its a bit of an antonym for my day
• My day was horrible

I had one class today. One. Seems like an easy day right? Not always. (I went in sweats)

The class= oral communication. We had a test and we had outlines we could write all over and use to help us out. I spent hours writing all over those damn things and hardly any of it helped me. Success.

I came home and tried to take a nap but that didn't work out well since Sheila came bouncing in the house on the phone with her mancandy.

I got up and was hungry so I decided to cook a frozen pizza. BIG MISTAKE. The oven caught on fire. It was like a dragon. I know why this happened but it would take too long to explain so....it straight up caught on fire. I threw water on it. Was that a mistake? Well it made a big pow and then smoke was everywhere, then it was done. The puppies were scared to death; I was a little scared/pissed myself. So the house was all smoked out and it looked like some hippies had been squatting in our living room for about 2 weeks. The smell was awful.

The good thing about today is that I found out my phone I ordered off Ebay will be in soon! I'm super pumped.

I also found out yesterday that my landlord's hot son thinks I'm "cute." So maybe this week won't be a total let down :)

"If you wake up and don't smile,

If it takes just a little while,

Open your eyes, and look at the day,

You'll see things in a different way.

Don't stop thinking about tomorrow,

Don't stop, cause it'll soon be here"

Where Does The Good Go?

Today's artist= Tegan and Sara

I've been home in BK all weekend, which usually always proves to be extra boring and uneventful. Not this weekend. Friday night, I was feeling a little low so Sheila came to stay the night with me. We woke up early the next morning to hit up the bank, and tried to pick out some furniture for our place. My mom was in town letting my aunt do her taxes so we met up with her and had lunch at Casa Brava. We came back to my house and Sheila left to go hang with her bf, Donovan. I was tired of not having a phone so I went to at&t and got a go phone, unlimited call and text for $60 a month, I'm pretty pumped.

Something I'm not pumped about, being sick. I'm thinking I have a cold gone brutal, but I'm not sure. I feel horrible!

Today is Sunday, I woke up early this morning to let the dogs out and made a field trip to Mickey D's to get Dad and I some breakfast. Needless to say, he was pretty shocked. I should be doing homework instead of writing this but ya know, I'm not one to prioritize well on the weekends. The rest of my day will consist of homework, taking care of Alba, and going back to Batesville. I'm hoping for a good week!

"Where do you go with your broken heart in tow?

What do you do with the leftover you?

And how do you know, when to let go?

Where does the good go?

Where does the good go?"

Live and Learn

Tonight's selection is brought to us by The Cardigans.

I will begin by announcing that my phone is currently on the fritz. If you text me, I can more than likely see it but I can't text you back. I'm hoping this will all be fixed soon.

There is a new addition to our little family! Sheila and I adopted two baby cocker spaniel mix puppies. They are two precious 6-week-old girls and they are already settling into our home. A classmate of mine had these puppies and they were about to meet a horrible fate, so Sheila and I decided we would take one. When we actually got to see them, we couldn't begin to separate one from her family so we adopted two. Sheila named her puppy Carly; I named mine Alba. I chose Alba because it was a name in one of my favorite books, The Time Traveler's Wife, and because it means dawn, or sunrise. I thought this would be a good omen after what was laid to rest at the beginning of the week. I'm not going to say its easy to sleep in my bed alone after sharing it with someone but I'm hoping the old adage "when one door closes another opens," comes true. I haven't taken any pictures of Alba yet but I will soon so I can post them up for everyone to see!

As the week is winding down, I will say that it was all-in-all a horrible week. I had a great night Thursday night; Nikki and Kelby came over to stay with us and we got a short visit from Kenn, a guy in Sheila's class. It was good to spend a night with friends and I'm looking forward to another session.

"I stared into the light, to kill some of my pain.

It was all in vain cause no senses remain,

But an ache in my body and regret on my mind, but I'll be fine.

Cause I live and I learn.

Yes I live and I learn."

King of All Excuses

This is my first post in a few days, it has been crazily hectic. My title belongs to Staind.

Monday:

I went to lunch with my friends Sheila and Ginny. We had a great time but were a little late to class.

We made it to class, and that turned out to be fun as well. I know right, shocker. After I got out of

class it was time to make the trip to Mountain View to have a little chit-chat with Joe about where

we stood and all that jazz. To put it lightly, it did NOT go well. His reasons for us splitting revolved

around the fact that he thought it wasn't fair to me, being with someone that I couldn't see. (He was

right that isn't fair) I'm pretty sure I noticed a "love mark" on his neck, and I'm even more sure that

it wasn't from me! He denied it but he's a good liar. I was devastated and I managed to make it back

to Batesville. Got here, had a horrible night followed by horrible sleep.

Tuesday:

I had a day full of classes today. I felt horrible still and went in sweats and a Northface pullover.

Skanky was my goal. Before my Human Growth and Development class, my friends Kelby and

Nikki informed me that we were going to Ihop as soon as Sheila got off work for free pancakes.

That never actually happened but we did make field trips to Wendy's. We laughed the whole night

and I slept better. The "wolf pack", minus aaron, had a great night and it helped majorly.

Wednesday:

Today, I don't have class until 2 and my major concern is my phone, which is cocking up. Greattt.

Just what I need. I'm hoping the day will go smoothly. Tomorrow the wolf pack is joining again

for another round of fun. Sounds gay, I'm aware of this. I'm going to meet Sheila's new boyfriend.

His name is Donovan and he is 16. She's cougaring it up! :)

"Did you forget that you were family, the damage you have done.

You've lied so much you think its true.

Do you know what the truth is?

How does someone get to be like you?

The King of All Excuses."

Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking

Today started out promising. Tonight's selection is by Snow Patrol.

Dad woke early this morning to a phone call from one of his friends asking him to come bail him out of jail. That was fun.

I woke up and started getting around for Sarah Lou's baby shower, which I was very excited for. As I got in my car to leave, I got stuck in my front yard due to all the rain we received making it a muddy mess. This delayed my travels. I'll say sorry once again for being so late. :(

I made it to the shower, which was pretty eventful. I saw some old friends I haven't seen in awhile and even met new ones. I left and made my way back to Batesville. I settled into my warm recliner with some Grey's Anatomy reruns and soon found that my step-father, Lance, had been stabbed 6 times in the head and was being taken to Baptist hospital in Little Rock. Lance is a lieutenant at the Tucker Max prison facility. I was very worried for awhile, mostly for my mother. I'm sure she was having a horrible time. She soon told me that he is awake and seems to be okay. I guess he had his wheaties this morning :) Man is a trouper. Now if it was only that simple to calm my nerves!

Now I can only hope that everything stays in this condition and improves.

Tomorrow I'll hopefully meet up with Joe

"I've got this feeling that there's something that I missed.

I could do most anything to you...

Don't you breathe.

Don't you breathe.

I could do most anything to you...

Something happened, that I never understood

I could do most anything to you...

You can't leave.

You can't leave.

I could do most anything to you..."

Come As You Are ( A Beginning)

I will begin my first post by noting that it's title is the name of a song I am currently "feeling." This will probably be the norm for each of my posts; it seems like a good system. Whether or not the song has anything to do with something significant, is up to you.

Let your imaginations wander ;)

Tonight, I chose "Come As You Are" by the late-great Nirvana. To say that today was eventful would be putting it lightly. I woke up a little on the late side, because thats what Saturdays are for. Not too long later I received a Facebook message from my current mancandy letting me know that I had lost the battle I was waging against long-distance relationships. Way to go, huh? Of course I was sad. Disappointed is a better word for my feelings. I had to get out of the house so I got in my car and headed to BK and let Sarah rescue me for a little while. We made an excursion to Wally-World to pick up supplies for the night's events. We headed back to her place, then set out again for the AGB Benefit at the Living Room in Searcy. The bands did a great job, I only wish that a few morons in attendance would've behaved like adults and not 12 year old cavemen. To everyone who came out to support our cause, which is raising money and awareness for Cystic Fibrosis, thank you and keep it up; it means more than you know. After the show I spent a little quality time with my roommate, Sheila and a few of our friends. We had to make a quick stop by the ER for my friend whose nose is broken due to the idiots at the show being reckless. We continued to the Underground, a place I love but do not get to spend enough time in. We chilled for awhile and I then took Sheila back to her car and headed back to the old homestead. My drive was nice; it let me mill things over in my poor, overwhelmed brain.

As far as Joe (boyfriend's name is Joe too) goes, I'm pretty unsure about everything and hope to have everything cleared up Monday, whether we stay together or not. :(

I will end this by sharing a funny happening of the night. I came home and thought my dad, aka "The Randy" was asleep on the couch. I didn't say anything to him as I came in, I just quietly came to my room. About an hour later I heard the dogs, Callie and Tucker, barking insanely which usually means someone is here. I go into the dining room and sure enough, there are headlights outside. I yell to dad, "hey somebody's here." No response. Phyllis (don't get me started) came to the door and started scratching the glass which freaked me the eff out. Sure enough dad followed her in. I felt pretty damn dumb. :)

"Come, as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.

As a friend, as a friend, as a known enemy.

Take your time, hurry up,

Choice is yours, don't be late.

Take a rest, as a friend, as a known memory."